Friday, June 22, 2007

12 June 2007, Dili (Timor Leste)

The air is fresh up here....

I've been in Dili already for 4 days and already my time has been completely absorbed with the administration - work-plans, forms to fill out, formats to be adhered to... On and on! Necessary, but not my preferred way to spend my time.

So when the chance to get out of Dili to checkout a venue for the upcoming workshops presented itself, I grabbed it.

The road to Daré  took us up the steep mountains that surround this little city. At the city limits a huge market selling everything from vegetables and livestock to 2nd hand GAP clothing was bustling with people. Other people were putting up the flags of the political party they support.. Here FREITILIN (the current party in power) holds sway, there it is CNRT (the largest opposition party), over here some PD (the Democratic Party) supporters stake their claim. It's interesting how the same names get recycled all over the world - National Party, Democratic Party, Christian Democrats etc - but can have hugely distinct platforms across the globe.

Leaving the city limits behind, the hubbub dies away and the road although on a steep gradient is at least tarred. It snakes around the mountain cutting a swathe through the trees, doubling back on itself like the coils of some giant python wrapped around the crocodile that is Timor Leste.

Unfortunately we ran out of road before we got to our destination! So in addition to being steep, the road - now barely a dirt track in places - became quite rocky and slippery.. Onwards and upwards, always upwards. Even with 4WD the little station-wagon we were in groaned every foot of the way.

But boy is the air fresh up here! Catching glimpses of the the city dropping below us as we climb ever higher, the horizon stretching on and on, little puffs of smoke from a myriad fires rise up lazily. It's easy to believe you are on top of the world.

We get to one venue, a Catholic retreat, nestled in the mountains that has an atmosphere of such serenity that my ears hurt at the silence. Quiet contemplation would be very possible in this setting... Although they are fully booked until the beginning of September.

So back into the car we get, my kidneys getting a serious workout as we bump and jiggle our way up the rutted track, take a wrong turn and have to retrace our steps... I am seriously beginning to doubt Fidelis' ability to tell time - he had promised that Daré was only 15 minutes away... It's been nearly 2 hours already.

Eventually we get to the second place - well that is a bit of a misdirection... we still had to hike to the venue. Only 5 minutes... Until Fidelis realised that the last time he had done this trip, he had done it on his bike!

Nevertheless the trek through the canopy of trees in the mountains was pure elixir to my soul. The venue, also unavailable for all the dates we required, was a gem. Thatch-roofed cottages and conference hall, up against the slopes of the mountain, surrounded by even higher peaks. A lush mountain side with tall trees and twittering birds. As I sat drinking in the natural beauty, two black and yellow butterflies came dancing around me - large and light like angels - and life was good.. all my cares were far away...

The trek back to the car - uphill this time - was done in silence as we negotiated the 30 degree incline! The journey back was done with a lightened heart to know that East Timor is so much more than Dili!






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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Thursday 26 April 2007, Dili, EastTimor

Acclimatising....

This place is growing on me. In and among the lack of communication and the potholed streets and the distance from all my creature comforts of home (not to mention my loved ones) this place is growing on me.

And I think it's the potential locked away deep inside the situation. And the possibility of unlocking it, or helping to unlock that potential. And it speaks I guess to the training and the work I have done over many years. But it's also I think about the Don Quixote in me.


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Thursday 26 April 2007, Dili, EastTimor

Acclimatising....

This place is growing on me. In and among the lack of communication and the potholed streets and the distance from all my creature comforts of home (not to mention my loved ones) this place is growing on me.

And I think it's the potential locked away deep inside the situation. And the possibility of unlocking it, or helping to unlock that potential. And it speaks I guess to the training and the work I have done over many years. But it's also I think about the Don Quixote in me.


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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Saturday 21 April 2007, Dili, East Timor

Hei foensae Timor oan! (Hey! Youth of Timor)

This is the first line in a youth anthem if you like that has doggedly followed me this week. To such an extent that I capitulated and learnt the words! It was sung by the workshop group every day and my driver had it on cassette... So I had no choice

Music was an important part of the day today. I spent the better part of the day at a youth festival organised by GTZ and a local cultural group called Bibi Buluk (crazy god). It was a celebration of the youth of Timor and their creativity - drama, poetry, dance and music bringing teenagers together (but not too closely in this very conservative & traditional society, at least as far as gender roles is concerned). And this song made an appearance - to a rapturous welcome with everyone joining in - even I - while doing a traditional circle dance, the dembe.

The words are:

Hei! Foesan Timor oan,
Hey young people of Timor

Hei, hei, hei foesan TImor oan.
Hey, hey, hey young people of Timor

O mak fini diak no esperansa
You are the seed and the hope

Timor niniam
Of Timor

O mak fini diak no esperansa
You are the seed and the hope

ba o nia rai.
for your country

Se, se los mak foti o nia rai
Who, who will build your nation?

Sé laos foensae Timor

If not you the young people of TImor?

Se se los mak foti o nia rai
Who, who will build your nation?

Sé laos o foensae Timor.
If not you the young people of Timor?

Hei, foensae Timor oan.
Hey young people of Timor

Hei, hei, hei foensae Timor oan
Hey, hey, hey young people of Timor

Katak o hatudu ba, ba mundu tomak
Go out and tell everyone, tell the whole world

Timor nia diak.
How good TImor is

Everyone knows this song. And even rival MAG members sing it with gusto once they've overcome their initial reticence in front of the opposition. I think the challenge is to make them believe the words and find ways to translate it into action.

Timorese Rock!

Another strange musical experience was Timorese rock. A little while after the community spirit of "Foensae Timor", another band came on, this time belting out some real heavy rock pieces, complete with drum solos! And they carried on.... And in the tradition of rock music, a lot of it was loud, very loud and to me somehow felt out of keeping with the 'peace' message of the day. I struggled to hear myself think above the din while talking to a real Kung Fu Master. While the participants may have enjoyed it, it did not garner the same boisterous reaction that Foensai Timor did either before or at the end of the day.

Letting one's hair down...

Now as I write this and reflect on the day, my hotel compound has been turned into the party capital of Dili it sounds like. Earlier I took a walk in the direction of the the hubub. The restaurant was hosting a live band and it seems as if this is the place where the internationals hang out. What looked like an Australian delegation had taken over the dance-floor which doubled as the pool deck when there is no band. This had dire consequences later on as one by one the members of the group were dunked - willingly or unwillingly - into the pool. All the while the band was playing everything from Rock Around the Clock to Achy Breaky Heart to Tequila Sunrise. It's one way to let your hair down after a week of sorting out other people's problems....

Two things struck me as I thoughtfully munched on my bowl of slap chips... One, that I have really missed dancing; it's been a really long time since I have been on a dance-floor and cut loose..The second thing as I felt my foot tap in time to the rhythm and felt my body sway in response to the beat was that my attention was drawn to two people: an elfin Thai girl with really great calves  and a tattoo on her right ankle and a tall brunette, Brazilian perhaps, certainly not part of the group, dressed in a simple yet striking red dress.

And it wasn't that they were attractive that caught my eye, although that is true, it was that they were dancing in tune with the music. And how beautiful it is when one moves in time to the proper rhythm of the the beat, just letting it flow through you without fighting it or wanting it to fit into a preconceived notion of what should happen. Just letting it flow... Unlike some of the jagged attempts of some of the other members of the group.

And so as the Thai and Brazilian women wafted off into the surrounding gloom of the pool, I was thinking that maybe that's what needed here... Listening to the beat and finding the rhythm.....



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Monday, March 26, 2007

SCORE vison & mission

Vision:
Our vision is to


  MISSION

To develop SCORE into a sustainable and professional organisation that can continue to build communities, by empowering people using sports and physical activity as a tool.


  OBJECTIVES
To maintain the capacity to implement community development programmes that meet the needs of disadvantaged communities and project funders, and to offer a range of quality, capacity building services within the community development sector.

To recruit (skilled and qualified) volunteers, through a network of resourced recruiting centres and to provide volunteers with the training and support necessary to maximise their effectiveness and enable a rewarding volunteer experience.

To develop innovative solutions to the training and capacity building needs of disadvantaged communities with the focus on children and youth and providing access to new sporting opportunities.

To ensure SCOREs welfare by generating sustainable income through delivering a range of professional services and by raising funds and attracting donor partnerships through effective programme implementation, accountability and communication.

To maintain SCORE's position at the forefront of the move to empower people and develop communities through physical activity and sport by enhancing the organisations system of research, design, monitoring and evaluation.



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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Occupational Related Injuries in Shiatsu Practitioners and Students

Occupational Related Injuries in Shiatsu Practitioners and Students


In June 2002 I had an epiphany, a moment of realisation if you like. Unfortunately my realisation was that I had been damaging myself. It came at the end of a day working at a Complementary Health Fair. Over the course of the day I had carried out about 6 Shiatsu treatments, a combination of full treatments on a futon and shorter sitting treatments in a chair. I’d been busy but had managed to find time to relax between treatments. When I got home I knew there was a problem, there was an aching discomfort in the backs of my hands and my thumbs were ‘buzzing’ gently. These weren’t new sensations. I’d felt them before, though not to the same degree and had just put it down to muscular tiredness. But this day was different, I had finally realised that there was something wrong. Something about the way I was doing Shiatsu was not just making my hands tired, it was damaging them. I immediately realised that I had to stop treating and find out what it was that I was doing wrong. Over the following months I searched all the relevant literature I could find in order to better understand and remedy my predicament. During the course of this research I found that many massage therapists have had similar problems, but could find no relevant literature regarding Shiatsu practitioners. Whilst I found much useful information on what do about such problems, there was nothing to tell me how common these problems are amongst Shiatsu practitioners nor how other Shiatsu practitioners may have dealt with them.

So, in Spring 2003, following discussions with the then Chair of the Shiatsu Society, I devised a questionnaire to gather information from Shiatsu practitioners and students. I asked them about any ill health they had suffered that was related to their practice of Shiatsu. The questionnaire was sent to everyone on the Society’s email circulation list and also to the members of an online discussion forum on Shiatsu1. The members of the discussion forum are all practitioners or students of Shiatsu. Of a total of 1125 practitioners and students who received the questionnaire, 102 responded. I analysed the questionnaires that were returned, looking at the number and nature of any problems, and any other factors that might promote or prevent such problems. The findings of this analysis are presented below.

Number of Injuries

51% of respondents reported that they believed they had an injury which had been caused by practising Shiatsu. A further 13% considered that Shiatsu had exacerbated a pre-existing injury. One person (ie. 1%) was unsure and 35% considered that they had not been injured.

At first glance the figures on rates of injury seem very high indeed. But what do they mean? Can we use them to predict what is happening for other shiatsu practitioners and students? The following section may seem rather heavy with statistics but this is necessary to get a clear understanding of how widespread this problem is.

Let us assume for a moment that the people who responded did so on an entirely random basis. Statistically speaking the 102 respondents would be an unbiased sample of the whole population. It might seem reasonable to simply scale up these percentages to work out many members of the Society are affected by such injuries (ie. 51% injuries and 13% exacerbations). However, even on this random basis, there may be some natural variability in the responses. Statistically speaking, we can say it is highly likely (ie. we are 99% certain) that the rate of injury is in the range 39-65% and the rate of exacerbation is in the range 4-22%.

Remember though that we made an assumption here – that the responses were at random, or to put it another way – whether someone was injured or not did not affect their decision to reply. It seems more reasonable to assume that the responses were biased, or ‘weighted’ – ie. those people who have experienced some injury were more motivated to reply than those who are not injured. Perhaps all of the people who have been injured actually replied, along with only a very few of those who are not injured. If this were the case then we can easily calculate the injury and exacerbation rates to be 5% and 1% respectively.

Neither of these extremities is likely. For one thing, I personally know of practitioners on the email distribution list who have been injured and yet did not reply to the questionnaire. I also know one former practitioner who is no longer on the distribution list and in fact no longer practices Shiatsu due to injuries incurred apparently as a result of her professional practice. How many others are there in the same situation? On the other hand it does seem reasonable to assume that injured people were more motivated to fill in the questionnaire, so that would move the weighting in the other direction.

So we now have upper and lower limits for the rate of injury, and reasons for doubting that the real figure lies at either of these extremes. But we can be extremely confident that the rate of injury lies between 5% and 65%, and the rate of exacerbation between 1% and 22%.

To conclude this more simply: we can be very confident that at least 1 in 20 practitioners or students believe they have been injured by their practice of shiatsu. The real figure could, however, be much higher.

Average Number of Treatments

The number of treatments in an average week varied from 1 to 25. There were several respondents who carry out upwards of 20 treatments per week, but some of these appeared to be other sorts of therapy (eg. Reiki, massage) or were shorter (30 minutes or less) treatments.

Respondents with injuries (including pre-existing exacerbated injuries) carried out an average of 6.8 treatments per week, compared with 5.5 treatments by uninjured respondents. Whilst this may suggest that there is a correlation between injury and the number of treatments carried out per week, technically we cannot be completely confident of this. In other words, the correlation is not statistically significant2.

Variation in workload

Almost all respondents had workloads which varied by somewhere between 1 and 10 treatments per week. There were 10 respondents whose workload could vary by between 10 and 34 treatments (although some of these may be quite short).

Of these 10 respondents, 8 believed they have been injured as a result of practicing Shiatsu and the other 2 believed that practicing Shiatsu has exacerbated existing injuries.

The workload of respondents with injuries (including pre-existing exacerbated injuries) varied by an average of 6 treatments per week, compared with an average variation of 5 treatments for uninjured respondents.

Whilst these two factors may suggest that there is a correlation between injury and variation in workload, neither is statistically significant.

Maximum number of treatments in one day

The maximum number of treatments carried out in 1 day was 12.

On average the maximum number of treatments carried out in one day was almost exactly the same for injured and uninjured respondents.

Age

The ages of respondents varied between 24 and 71.

There is no evidence to suggest that age may be related to the likelihood of injury. Neither does there seem to be a particular age at which injury is more likely to occur.

Minimum Interval between treatments

There is considerable variation in the minimum interval respondents leave between consecutive treatments, ranging from no gap at all to several hours. Almost a third of respondents do not leave any time between consecutive treatments.

On average, there was little difference in the interval between appointments for injured (14 minutes) and uninjured (14½ minutes) respondents.

Other work

Outside of practicing Shiatsu, respondents had a range of other jobs. These were categorised as follows:

  • Sedentary (eg. office work)
  • Physical
  • Therapeutic (ie. other therapies)
  • Teaching Shiatsu
  • Musician
  • None
Some respondents reported doing combinations of two of the above, alongside their Shiatsu practice. By far the biggest category was the sedentary one.

There is no evidence of a link between the type of other work that respondents do and their likelihood of injury.

Physical Activity

There is considerable variety in the physical activities (outside of Shiatsu) that respondents are involved in. The following list shows the main activities, roughly in order of popularity:

  1. Yoga
  2. Swimming
  3. Walking
  4. Martial arts (including Tai Chi)
  5. Cycling
  6. Gym/aerobics
  7. Qi gong
  8. Running
  9. Dancing
  10. Gardening
  11. Water sports
13 respondents considered they took part in no demanding physical activity at all. There was insufficient data to say whether there was any correlation between risk of injury and the type of physical activity that respondents participate in.

Activities which place demands on the hands

By far the most common such activity is the use of computers (most considered the act of typing demanding but one found using a mouse more demanding). Other activities listed include playing a musical instrument, housework, sports, writing, gardening and various manual tasks (eg. DIY).

Location of Problems

This section considers both problems believed to be caused by the practice of Shiatsu and problems believed to be exacerbated by practising Shiatsu.

There were 28 reports of upper limb problems (including shoulder), 20 lower limb and 18 torso (consisting of back and, in one case, neck). Some respondents reported multiple problems involving one or more of these categories. At first glance it would appear that upper limb problems are the most common, but this cannot be confirmed statistically. It may in fact be that injuries are evenly distributed between these three categories: upper limb, lower limb and torso. 11 of these respondents actually reported a variety of multiple problems.

There were a further 2 reports of systemic or other specific problems. These consisted of fatigue, headaches and reduced cognitive functioning.

17 respondents reported back problems. Of these, 9 reported problems with the lower back and 2 with the thoracic region, but 6 respondents were no more specific than indicating that it was merely a back problem. Whilst this is suggestive that lower back problems are more common (than upper/mid back) there is insufficient data to confirm this statistically.

The lower limb problems were confined to the knees, apart from 1 person with hip problems. Roughly equal numbers of people reported either unilateral or bilateral problems (9 reported problems with one knee, 11 with both).

The largest category consisted of upper limb problems. Again, roughly equal numbers of people reported either unilateral or bilateral problems (19 reported bilateral problems compared to 16 unilateral). The majority of these problems affected the wrists and/or thumbs.

For both upper and lower limb problems, it is not possible to say whether bilateral or unilateral problems are statistically more common.

Types of Problems

On examining the questionnaire replies it was possible to say something about how the problems change over time. For the purposes of analysis they were divided into the following categories: single episode, sporadic, ongoing and chronic. Ongoing problems were defined as those that were currently affecting the respondent but could not, at this point in time, be definitely assigned to one of the other categories. There was some inevitable degree of subjectivity in the way that these categories were assigned. It was not possible, however, to systematically say anything about the severity of the problems encountered. It is clear though that they range from minor and transient discomfort to extremely painful and debilitating.

Some people were very specific about the diagnosis of the problem, eg. osteo-arthritis of the hip joint, or ulnar nerve compression at the wrist, but many have not had a medical diagnosis and so the nature of the problems were less precise.

Looking at exacerbations of pre-existing injuries, about half of these had become chronic, at least in part – so the respondents believed - because of the person’s practice of shiatsu.

Ignoring the exacerbated injuries for a moment, it appears that the sporadic problems are more likely than any of the other categories (chronic, ongoing or single episode) with the others being roughly equally likely. We cannot say this with any degree of statistical confidence however.

When do problems occur

Firstly it should be noted that I have made the assumption that all practitioners spent 3 years as a student before qualifying. Whilst I am confident that this is true for most practitioners it may not be the case for some of the longer-standing practitioners, or indeed those who ‘dabbled’ with shiatsu for several years before enrolling on an accredited 3 year course, or those who had a ‘year out’. That said, there was an evident pattern showing when injuries are most likely to occur during a person’s exposure to studying or practising shiatsu. The very first year showed the highest rate (9 respondents) of problems with 4 the following year then a very steady stream of 2 or 3 each year thereafter. So it would appear that the main ‘danger’ period is while a person is studying, specifically during the first two years. However, as the numbers are quite small it is impossible to confirm this statistically.

Symptoms

There were very clear categories of symptoms reported. These were, listed in order of frequency:

Pain 52
Stiffness 15
Swelling 7
Fatigue/tiredness 5
Limited ROM 5
Weakness 5
Feeling of heat 2
Tingling 2
Numbness 2
Crepitus 2
Discomfort 1
Palpitations 1
Reduced immunity 1
Cognitive problems 1

Out of the 63 different problems where the respondents actually gave some indication of their symptoms (not everybody did) 52 of them involved pain. In other words, most problems involve some degree of pain, although it is not possible to comment on the severity of pain experienced.

Many of the symptoms were reported in ‘constellations’ of several different symptoms. These constellations always involved pain and typically consisted of 2 or 3 different symptoms in total. The most common constellation was the grouping of pain and stiffness, being reported 11 times on its own, plus several more times as part of larger constellations.

A number of symptoms were notable in that they were never reported on their own, but always as part of a constellation. Of particular note here were 2 of the symptoms from Group 3 above – weakness and limited ROM.

The majority of these symptoms are clearly related to the musculoskeletal system, with the possibility of some neurological involvement.

How did the practitioner/student deal with the problem

Of the 56 responses to this question, the majority (38) indicated that the practitioner/student continued treating whilst injured. 6 people justified they’re reasoning for continuing to treat, using the following reasons:

  • Injury only minor (2 respondents)
  • Injury only becomes apparent after finishing treatment
  • Injury only apparent when doing a specific movement
  • Problem only apparent during the last treatment of the day
  • “Its never stopped me finishing a treatment”
A further 2 people reported that they initially continued treating but only stopped after several weeks when the problems worsened.

10 people continued treating, but modified their techniques to take their injury/problem into account (2 of these changed to using a treatment couch/table).

Onset

The onset of injury was classified as either sudden or gradual. Not all injured respondents answered the question regarding onset, and some answers could not be matched to either category. Gradual injuries appeared to be almost twice as common as sudden (30 gradual, 17 sudden). Whilst suggestive that gradual onset is more common than sudden onset, this cannot be demonstrated statistically. Whether the injury was believed to be shiatsu related or an exacerbation of an existing injury did not appear to make a difference to the nature of the onset. Neither did there appear to be a correlation between the nature of onset and the location of the injury.

Respondents who had suffered some injury or health problem had a variety of thoughts on why their problems occurred. These reasons can be split into several categories:

1. The physical movements of shiatsu itself:

  • Performing techniques incorrectly, ie. bending or otherwise having poor posture and/or mechanics.
  • Kneeling
  • Overuse
  • Excessive weight-bearing
  • Being ungrounded
  • Hyper-extension of joints (wrist)
  • Hyper-flexion of joints (knee)
  • Muscular tension
  • Repetition of certain movements/postures
  • Lack of strength
  • Inexperience
2. Systemic, lifestyle or energetic issues:
  • Age
  • Congenital problems
  • Stress
  • Tension
  • Pre-existing injuries
  • Giving but not receiving
  • Not recognising own limitations
  • Not looking after oneself
  • Tiredness
  • Weak kidneys
3. Other:
  • One person reported not warming up properly before treating
  • One person was practicing on a mat that was too thin – the problem improved considerably when they started working on an appropriate surface
  • One person regarded injury as an occupational hazard for Shiatsu practitioners
Therapeutic Intervention

There were 37 instances of respondents seeking some sort of intervention to help with their health problems and 16 in which no help was sought. Of interest were the 16 cases of injury where no help was sought. Various reasons were given, or appeared to be apparent, for this seeming lack of concern. They included such factors as:

  • The problem was only mild
  • The problem was sporadic or only a single episode
  • Shiatsu technique was modified and the problem resolved
Of those respondents who did seek some intervention nearly all (36 of 37) used some form of complementary medicine, 6 of whom also sought had some form of orthodox medicine and one person sought orthodox intervention only. Given the relatively small number of respondents and the large variety in health problems noted and different interventions used it was not possible to say anything specific about the usefulness of specific forms of intervention. However, in the majority (28) of cases, the respondents found their particular interventions either moderately or very useful. A further 6 found the intervention slightly helpful and only one found it not at all helpful. The types of intervention used included the following:
  • Shiatsu/acupressure (either from someone else or self-administered)
  • Various forms of massage
  • Acupuncture
  • Homeopathy
  • Chiropractic
  • Magnets
  • Essential oils & other creams
  • Osteopathy
  • Reiki
  • Moxibustion
  • Yoga
  • Qi gong
  • Spiritual healing
  • Meditation
  • Oriental herbal medicine
  • Rest
  • Heat
  • Cold
  • Hydrotherapy
  • Physiotherapy
  • Anti-inflammatory medication
  • Pain-relieving medication
Measures taken once injured

Once an injury or health problem occurred most respondents (49 out of 52) employed a range of strategies to prevent reoccurrence of the same problem. For the majority of people (35) who replied to this question these strategies proved to be moderately or largely successful in reducing their symptoms. 9 found they returned to completely to a state of good health and only 3 had improvement of a minimal nature.

Unfortunately for 3 respondents the only way they found to gain symptomatic relief was to cease practicing shiatsu, either permanently or on a long-term basis. Even then, none of them experienced a complete cessation of their symptoms, although one of these cases was admittedly a recent, acute problem.

The strategies employed to prevent reoccurrence fall into 3 broad categories:

1. Changing the way Shiatsu is carried out. This was done in a variety of ways:

  • Avoiding certain techniques that cause/aggravate symptoms and/or employing different techniques to those which are being avoided (11 respondents)
  • Modifying techniques so that they do not aggravate symptoms (5) eg. avoiding the use of muscular strength, working more energetically than physically
  • Improving posture (7)
  • Working from the hara / ensuring better use of bodyweight (2)
  • Working on a treatment couch or table (3)
2. Changing the frequency of treatments
  • Carrying out less treatments
  • Leaving larger intervals between treatments
3. Auxiliary practices. Some of these practices would be done routinely, eg. on a daily basis, or could be seen as part of the treatment process, ie. they would be performed immediately before or after treatment, or between consecutive treatments. The practises included:
  • Receiving shiatsu
  • Do-in
  • Qi gong T
  • ai Chi
  • Yoga
  • Makko ho
  • Rest
  • Stretching
  • Alexander technique
  • Meditation
  • Visualisation
  • ‘Warming up’
Prevention

Of the 35 respondents who had not suffered any health problems which they attribute to Shiatsu only 4 confessed to not taking any measures to prevent injury. From the other 31 uninjured respondents several themes emerged:

  • The use of exercises to warm-up before treating and/or to cool down after treatment. These exercises mostly fall into the following activities: stretching, qi gong, do-in & makko-ho.
  • Some use of exercise generally to stay healthy. This was mostly likely to be one of the above forms of exercise, or some sort of strengthening exercise.
  • Focussing on correct alignment whilst treating.
  • Focussing on correct posture whilst treating.
  • Working on a thick, large mat (or in one case a couch) to protect the knees.
Further Comments

This space was provided on the questionnaire to give respondents an opportunity to make any points that they felt they had not been able to cover sufficiently already. Naturally then, it is difficult to categorise these comments. However, there were several themes that appeared more than once, here and in other parts of the questionnaire:

  • A belief that practitioners probably do not do enough to look after their own health, ignoring this to focus on the needs of their clients instead.
  • A concern that very little (if anything) is taught about the likelihood and prevention of injury whilst training.
  • A belief that some areas of the body are more prone to injury, ie. wrists/hands, backs & knees.
  • A belief that Shiatsu can be very beneficial to the practitioner as well as the client.

Conclusions


It should be understood that the sample size (102 people) is relatively small, especially given the large number of different possible factors that may have an affect on a practioner/student’s well-being. This means that it is difficult to draw statistically sound conclusions from the data. It also means that just because something could not be demonstrated statistically does not mean its not true, it may just be that some patterns will only emerge when enough people are polled. However, it is possible to say the following conclusions.

Incidence of injury

  • At least 1 in 20 practitioners/students believe that practicing Shiatsu has damaged their health in some way. The real figure may be somewhat higher.
  • A smaller number of practitioners/students believe that practising Shiatsu has exacerbated health problems that had other causes.
Nature of injuries
  • Almost all of the health problems reported were musculo-skeletal in nature.
  • The most frequently injured parts of the body appear to be the knees, wrists, thumbs and lower back.
  • There appears to be a roughly equal chance of injuries being either bilateral or unilateral.
  • Upper-limb problems may be more frequent than torso or lower-limb problems.
  • There appeared to be more sporadic than chronic health problems reported.
  • The most common symptoms of injury are pain, stiffness, swelling, tiredness, limited range of movement and weakness. Most problems involve some degree of pain or discomfort.
  • It may be more likely for the onset of health problems to be gradual rather than sudden.
  • A variety of reasons were given as to why practitioners/students thought that their health problems had occurred.
Risk factors
  • It may be that doing more treatments per week is more likely to lead to injury.
  • It may be that a greater variation in workload is more likely to lead to injury.
  • The greatest risk of an injury first occurring appears to be during the first year or two’s involvement in Shiatsu. Thereafter the length of time practising does not appear to affect the degree of risk.
Reactions to injury
  • The majority of injured practitioners/student continued to treat clients whilst actually injured.
  • The majority of injured practitioners/students sought some form of therapeutic intervention and most found it helpful to one degree or another.
  • The majority of injured practitioners/students experienced significant improvement in their health problems but few of these experienced total recovery.
  • Some injured practitioners/students were forced to retire from practising Shiatsu but still did not experience total recovery.
  • Most injured practitioners/students pursued one or more of the following strategies to prevent a recurrence of their health problems i) modifying the way they do Shiatsu, ii) changing the frequency of treatments, iii) following a supplementary exercise regime of some sort.
Prevention
  • Of the 35 respondents who had not suffered any health problems 31 took measures to prevent injury. These included such strategies as ensuring correct posture and alignment whilst treating, following an appropriate exercise regime, and working on a large, thick mat.
Lifestyles
  • The majority of practitioners/students do some other work in addition to Shiatsu. This other work is most commonly sedentary in nature.
  • The majority of practitioners/students engage in some form of sport or other activity thought to promote good health (eg. yoga).
  • The majority of practitioners/students engage in some form of activity outside Shiatsu which they believe places demands on their hands. The most common such activity is typing / computer work.
It will be noted that I have used words and phrases like ‘may be’ and ‘appear’, rather than drawing any definite conclusions. The reason for this is that I have sought to be statistically rigorous in the way that the data has been interpreted. Clearly there are many different factors that may affect a person’s risk of injury. The more factors there are then the greater the size of the sample (ie. the number of respondents) needs to be in order to draw any truly meaningful conclusions. Hence, although much of the data is quite suggestive, a larger study would be needed to confirm some of those suggestions with a degree of statistical confidence.

Regardless of the nature of the specific injuries it is of great concern that at least 1 in 20 respondents believe they have been injured in some way by practising Shiatsu. I suggest that there are several possible reasons for this:

  • Some practitioners/students are not practising certain aspects of Shiatsu correctly
  • Some practitioners/students are not making use of supplementary exercise regimes or lifestyle choices to ensure that they can cope with the rigours of practising Shiatsu
  • Some practitioners are simply working too hard, and not giving themselves sufficient opportunity to rest
  • Some aspects of Shiatsu practice are inherently damaging to the giver, at least for some practitioners/students
Since my first involvement in Shiatsu I have understood it to be a holistic practice. However, I fear we may be addressing the needs of our clients whilst to some extent neglecting our own well-being. Should we suffer so that our clients can benefit? Of course not, but that is exactly what some of us appear to be doing. I believe we must give both giver and receiver equal attention in order to truly call what we do holistic. It is my intention in a future paper to examine the reasons that the above health problems occur and what we can do to help ourselves.
Footnotes:
  1. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/shiatsu/
  2. For such a correlation to be termed ‘statistically significant’ we must be at least 95% certain that the correlation still holds when scaled up to the whole population.

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Five Elements

Chinese element theory...

The five traditional Chinese elements are Water, Wood, Fire, Earth and Metal. These are the five basic forms of energy, which are constantly being transformed from one into another throughout the natural world. Their names are convenient labels, or images to help us understand their function, but their meaning goes far beyond the label. In humans, for example, the elements determine our whole physical, psychological and emotional balance. This page describes the characteristics of the five elements, the interactions between them, and some ways you can take these ideas further.

Characteristics of the five elements

Water: Solitude, privacy, introspection, philosophy, mystery, truth, honesty, anxiety, nervousness, insecurity. (Images: Black, Night, Winter)

Wood: Leadership, assertiveness, creativity, planning, decision-making, competitiveness, conflict, anger, frustration. (Images: Green, Morning, Spring)

Fire: Self-expression, emotional extremes, empathy, extrovert, attention-seeking, sociable, talkative. (Images: Red, Mid-day, Midsummer)

Earth: Caring, supportive, nourishing, family-oriented, stability, grounding, "mother hen", worrier. (Images: Yellow, Afternoon, Late summer)

Metal: Precise, meticulous, logical, analytical, moderation, self-control, morality, tendency to pessimism (Images: White, Evening, Autumn)

Interactions between elements

element cycles The blue lines represent the Creation cycle (e.g. "Water creates Wood" - i.e. Water energy has a tendency to transform into Wood), and the black lines represent the Control cycle (e.g. "Water controls Fire" - i.e. Water energy, if present in any quantity, has a moderating effect on Fire).
 

Taking things further

The key to staying healthy is to keep the five elements in balance. There are many ways to do this - for example through meditation, yoga or martial arts such as aikido. Some Shiatsu practitioners teach Makko-Ho exercises - yoga-like techniques specifically designed to balance the elements.

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Making your massage last

Phil Mandley, Licensed Massage Therapist, Nashville, TN

 Therapeutic In-Home Massage 

Nashville, Brentwood, Franklin, Spring Hill, Tennessee

Making the Most of Your Massage

How to Prolong the Benefits of Bodywork/Barbara Hey

A massage works in wonderful ways, easing stress and pain, calming the nervous system, increasing circulation, loosening tight muscles, stimulating internal organs, and enhancing skin.  The multiplicity of physiological responses sends a simple, clear message to the mind:  Massage feels good.  Of course, you want to hold on to that just-had-a-massage feeling--total body relaxation, muscles relaxed and at ease, and fluid movement restored--for as long as possible.

But how long that bliss lasts depends on the state of your body.  If you're suffering from chronic pain or recovering from injury, then it may take more sessions and perhaps different modalities before optimal health is restored.

If massage is part of your regular health regimen, then it's more likely the effects will endure.  In other words, the effects of massage are cumulative, like any healthy habit.  The more often you get a massage, the greater and longer-lasting the benefits.

Massage Frequency

How often you receive massage depends on why you're seeking massage.  In dealing with the general tension of everyday commutes, computer work, and time demands, a monthly massage may be enough to sustain you.  On the other hand, if you're seeking massage for chronic pain, you may need regular treatments every week or two.  Or if you're addressing an acute injury or dealing wiht high levels of stress, you may need more frequent sessions.  Your situation will dictate the optimum time between treatments, and your practitioner will work with you to determine the best course of action.

"You need to consider how you felt before the session and how you felt after, and then look at how long you maintain that," says Pieter Sommen, the chair of the eastern department in the Swedish Institute School of Massage Therapy in New York.

In general, experts say "regular" is preferable, but how regular depends on your situation.  While daily massage would be delightful, practical considerations such as cost, time, and physical need likely determine the frequency of treatments.  "It's best to maintain a schedule," says Eeris Kallil, CMT, a shiatsu instructor at the Boulder College of Massage Therpy in Colorado.  "That way the body becomes conditioned and prepared for session at specific intervals."

Maintenance

Whether you get a massage wekly, monthly, or just every once in a while, the following habits can maximize and extend the afterglow of treatment.

Water

One bit of advice you'll hear over and over again is to drink plenty of water after amassage.  Bodywork--no matter the particular modality--releases toxins, such as lactic acid and carbonic acid, that need to be flushed from the body.  Massage also promotes circualtion, increasing blood flow and oxygen and stimulating the lymphatic system, which helps rid the body of pathogens.  After-massage hydration supports these functions, helping to eliminate released impurities, sooner rather than later.

Stretching

Another helpful habit is stretching between massages to maintain joint mobility, prevent muscles from tightening up again, and keeping the life energy flowing.  This may mean doing yoga or whatever specific or full-body stretches suggested by your practitioner.  After a shiatsu session, for example, your practitioner may recommend "makko-ho" stretches, a series of six exercises designed to keep energy circulating.  "This series of stretches take anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes a day, but really help keep the chi flowing through the body," says Kallil.

Exercise

Working out can also help maintain the benefits of massage, and this habit should be continually cultivated.  However, if you're receiving massage therapy to help speed muscle strain recovery, you may need to ease up on the exercise for a while and give the body time to heal--particularly if you're recovering from a strenuous body-pummeling training regimen.  "You don't want to over-work your body,"says Kallil.  That is, if running is taking a toll, try something more gentle and meditative such as swimming, walking, or tai chi.

Body Awareness

After a massage, respect how your body feels.  If your body seems to ask for rest, give in to the demand.  This may mean backing off the to-do list, taking it easy, moving slower, and perhaps doing less for a while.  And don't allow yourself to get fatigued because it will undermine the effects of massage.  Get sufficient sleep to allow the body to absorb the effects and regain vitality.

Diet

Finally, since you've just rid the body of toxins, support the body's renewed state by adhering to a healthy diet rich in fruits and vegetables, which will continue the detoxification process.  Lay off the espresso and all adrenaline-challenges for a time--which would short-circuit relaxation anyway--and enjoy the calm.

The benefits of massage are many, including:  increasing circulation, allowing the body to pump more oxygen and nutrients throughout the body, stimulating lymph flow and boosting immunity; relaxing overused or tight muscles; increasing joint mobility and range of motion; reducing recovery time after strenous workouts or surgery; and relieving back pain and migraines, just to name a few.

By opting for a few lifestyle choices, you can extend these benefits and get the most out of your massage.

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Friday, May 05, 2006

Aikido in Daily LIfe

I came across this article on a very useful website (www.aikidojournal.com). I thought we should all ponder on our own practice - either in encountering a reluctant uke, or being one.


The following article was prepared with the kind assistance of Jon Aoki of the USA.

"For those of us not congenitally attracted to violence, aikido training sometimes presents problems that are difficult to ignore. The come in human form and in distinct personality types. Amongst these is the reluctant uke.

This is the guy who tries to block all your efforts to apply a technique and takes a smug delight in refusing to fall. He dedicates his time on the mat to trying to prove your techniques do not work. And sometimes he succeeds.

He may be new to aikido, having migrated from another martial art or, worse, some one with years of experience who knows precisely when to make himself totally uncooperative for maximum effect.

Typically he seems not to understand how meaningless and destructive his behavior is, and no amount of aikido philosophy gets through to him. He sees everything in competitive terms and believes that every technique must work regardless of the circumstances. Only rarely will he change his spots.

How many people have given up aikido because of him? How many women have been turned away from the art by his chauvinistic behavior? How many honest and sincere instructors has he caused to hang up their hakama, convinced they are not qualified to teach?

Sometimes the reluctant uke is amenable to reason and will respond to a pep-talk, provided it is delivered early in his career. He should not be confused, by the way, with the uke who holds firmly or strikes positively in order for both partners to research and discover the meaning of aikido. The difference is in the attitude and the intention.

Of course the reluctant uke can be dealt with physically, by a swift atemi or a painful and dangerous abbreviation of a technique, and some instructors have earned a fearsome reputation for meting out this kind of eye for an eye treatment, but many of us hesitate to respond in this way. Usually the effort to block a technique makes the blocker an easy target for a punch, but retaliation is not consistent with the aims of aikido, and could lead to an ongoing exchange no different from a contest.

My own son went through a period (thankfully short-lived) during which he became a very reluctant uke indeed. While I was slowly performing a technique in front of a class he would suddenly exert his full strength to block it halfway through. To respond with atemi was not really an option under the circumstances.

We also had a champion power-lifter in our class who used to apply his massive strength at the most unexpected times. Once when we were doing kokyuho he suddenly pulled my arms in towards him, enveloped them with his brawn and pinned them under his armpits. Aside from head-butting him or biting his nose-options I did not consider appropriate or necessary-I was powerless.

No doubt readers have had similar experiences and will recognize the type of attitude. It was a type neatly represented by a Chinese martial arts instructor I once met in Hong Kong. I only visited him at the suggestion of a friend who said the man would be glad to meet me and keen to exchange technical know-how. But, in the event, he was very suspicious and began interrogating me on my motives in coming to see him. I was about to flag the whole scenario away as another cross- cultural cock-up when he said, O.K., show me some aikido.

Thinking to start nikyo, I invited him to grip my wrist, whereupon he made the memorable and no doubt perfectly logical remark, from his point of view: Why would I do anything as stupid as that? He obviously saw the whole exchange as a challenge aimed at testing him or showing him that my technique was superior to his.

Unfortunately, many aikidoka have the same attitude- having missed the point of training by a country mile and having failed to see that aikido is defensive, not offensive and that its goals transcend winning and losing. When you take on aikido you must put aside the whole idea of winning and losing and focus on achieving harmony. You can't have it both ways.

Seeing aikido in competitive terms is like trying to prove something that cannot be proven. Occasionally even a Japanese will display this attitude, though the respect for authority in Japan generally migrates against this, and most Japanese aikidoka appear to accept the nage-uke (performer-receiver) cooperative system of training. One Japanese friend told me, under the influence of alcohol, that he would love to have just one shot at testing his sensei's skill by refusing to fall nicely all the time. He added that he was prepared to pay all his own hospital bills! In general, Japanese are more inclined to abuse their position as nage by thrashing their unfortunate and obedient ukes themselves, although I have met plenty of the latter in Japan.

What is so puzzling to me is not just the fact that people seem unable to think outside the parameters of a contest but that they confound training in the dojo with reality. Getting the reluctant uke to understand this is often a major challenge. (If only he would just go away and take up a competitive sport like judo or karate where he could block to his heart's content!) Aikido is not, after all, for those who feel the need to defend their egos at all times. We can, within limits, always learn something by trying to relate to these contrary individuals, but those limits need to be recognized, and going beyond them can be counter-productive to say the least.

Dojo training is not a life-and-death affair, and there are many things you cannot and need not do in the context of training. Just as you cannot do ikkyo on an elephant or kokyuho on a concrete wall, there are some ukes who cannot be thrown against their will without nage resorting to dangerous or violent tactics departing, in the process, from the principles of aikido training.

How you react is a measure of your training and your personal philosophy: a laugh or a smile may be enough. Though the urge to suggest, in one way or another, that these ukes get a life can be quite strong, we need to learn to take a metaphorical step back (which is also a sound technical approach) and to calmly refuse to play the reluctant uke's game. Even if you cannot do anything with him, it really does not matter, as it is only a game after all. Paradoxically, a realization of this fact is sometimes all it takes for the technique to actually work, but you should accept the fact that you can't win ‘em all.

When it is your turn to be uke and you feel you could stop your partner's movement, you should resist the temptation and allow him to compete his technique. What have you got to lose? What do you gain otherwise? Certainly you show your partner the inadequacy of his technique by blocking it, but there are more positive ways to encourage him and help him to improve.

Some instructors precede their demonstration of a technique with a realistic version, as opposed to the standard dojo version. This is a sort of a bad guy-good guy approach where you explain how to break an arm with ikkyo, smash a head with shihonage or mangle a wrist with sankyo – not forgetting the devastation that can be wreaked with powerful atemi. You then proceed with aikido…. But, in the dojo, we do it this way. While okay up to a point, this approach panders to the competitive mentality and can become an end in itself, to the detriment of the aikido spirit.

The competitive mentality can invade a dojo like a virus against which a constructive, harmonious training atmosphere offers little immunity. Newcomers feel intimidated and do not speak out, and often the instructor feels unable to do so either, without losing face. He may feel that he should be able to take all this in his stride, just as O-Sensei accepted challenges from all-comers in the old days.

Far better, I think, to acknowledge that we are not O-Sensei and that these are not the old days. It is the instructor's responsibility to protect his students from ignorant people and to ensure the dojo is a place where something worthwhile can be learned, and where students treat each other with mutual respect, not a battlefield for shallow egos intent on outdoing one another. The dojo should be a sanctuary where one can safely experiment with ideas and techniques that aim for a completely different outcome.

The difference between training and reality (and between a competitive sport and a martial way) is well illustrated by the aikidoka who responded to a challenge from a judo man by showing up with a live sword tucked in his belt. These days, however, it is not very practical to say it with swords whenever taijutsu seems inadequate, but another weapon, often underestimated, is the spoken word. Despite the stoic budo tradition which prizes the strong, silent type, I feel it is appropriate to speak up when one encounters the boorish, reluctant uke. This is by no means easy to do and calls for some resolve. It may not stamp out the breed but it may make life more tolerable for many members of the dojo, i.e., for those who really want to learn aikido and have no interest in competing. Left unchecked the reluctant uke just becomes more and more reluctant.

Unfortunately, the seniority system tends to intimidate beginners, who are the ones most likely to be affected by blocking and bullying, but I feel that remaining silent while someone is applying unnecessary force in the dojo is an outdated and inappropriate attitude. Furthermore, it is always better to use your tongue than your fists, and to use your brain before trying to brain someone else, or before they try to brain you.

Old attitudes die hard, as I found when visiting Japan recently. I was sitting with a group of students in one of the dojos I used to train in when somebody mentioned my articles in Aikido Journal. The sensei present said, "It is interesting that these days virtually anyone can write about aikido, whereas in the old days only the very top teachers dared to do so." (He actually used the Japanese words "were allowed to," which is revealing.)

Whether this remark was aimed at me (if the cap fits, wear it) or was just a generalization I do not know for sure. However, I believe anyone is entitled to speak or write about aikido, regardless of rank or experience. It is up to the listener or reader to decide how much credibility to give their words. Freedom of expression is just one of the planks of democracy that many older-generation Japanese appear to have difficulty with.

When it comes to O-Sensei-style mystical insight and any attempt to explain that in words, I would agree that he who speaks does not know and I would be the first to accept whatever divine punishment came my way if I even pretended I had access to that kind of knowledge. I suspect such punishment would not be as dramatic as a bolt of lightning, but would more likely take the form of a gradual slide into even greater ignorance. You would end up like the proverbial man without a torch, in the coal-cellar, searching for the black cat – that isn't there! In that sense, ignorance is its own reward. It is risk one has to take when opening one's mouth on anything, but this should not stop anyone protesting at glaring breaches of the aikido spirit.

Coal-cellars aside, there is a dark side to aikido which is typified by the reluctant uke, and if senior exponents have become blasé? about it, then it is important for newcomers and those who can still see it clearly to show it up by whatever means they can. They have as much right as anyone else to speak up.

Experience does not automatically lead to enlightenment, and some senseis talk utter rot while some ordinary people have far more wisdom to offer. It is a sorry delusion to assume that people with long experience of aikido are somehow superior. Likewise, any unwritten rule that prevents a person from protesting about that abuse of power by those in high places should be relegated to the garbage heap of worthless traditions.

The danger of becoming psychologically desensitized to violence increases every time it is ignored and we need only look at what is going on in Europe right now to see the end result of this attitude.

The old Roman adage si vis pacem para bellum (if you want peace prepare for war) is another bit of traditional wisdom that does not fit the observable facts. Preparation for war has always led to war, and it is depressing to see this borne out even as we speak.

We should thank our lucky starts that we are able to practice aikido, where the opposite aspect of the human spirit is manifested.

The least we can do is to try and maintain peace and harmony in our aikido training, insignificant though this may seem in comparison with the scale and horror of the current destructive global events.

There is more than enough conflict in the world already.

Let us see if we can find another way."


__________________

Aikido is, in the words of O-Sensei, a way of training the body and the spirit. For this reason our practice on the mat can never be divorced from our practice of Life. Our approach to one will be reflected in our approach to the other. And our experience in one will definitely influence our experience in the other. It therefore stands to reason that if there is some aspect of our life that we would like to improve, by practicing consciously and with awareness on the tatami, we could effect a change - or even just explore the limits of ourselves and our baggage.

Hope to see you on the mat soon,

Ghalib

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Reflections on the last journey of my grandmother

My grandmother passed away this morning, Thursday 30 June 2005, three weeks shy of her 93rd birthday. Born in 1912, she had witnessed both World Wars of the last century, had seen the rise - and the fall - of apartheid, the rise of democracy and was troubled by what she saw as a moral decay in society. She had lived a long and fruitful life and had seen her children have children and them in turn have children. And today she was surrounded by them - not all of them, because many of us were scattered around the country, around the globe.

Her passing marks the end of a generation,but also the end of a connection to an era before my time and one I had wanted to capture with a family tree, to capture memories of that time - and had not gotten around to doing. Now it remains yet another thing on my to-do list, but moved up to the must-do section.

I was struck by how peaceful she looked all clean and dressed in white, curled up in a foetal position, her head resting gently on a pillow, a softness in her face. A far cry from the frail body of recent times and rather recalling the regal matriarch who ruled over the Marcus clan for all my memory. She would hold court at the numerous family gatherings, serenely surveying the scene and the myriad conversations happening at those all-too noisy occasions. More recently, confined to a wheelchair, she would delight in having visitors, grateful for a new face to talk to - most often about travelling. She loved to travel - and her favourite journey was the pilgrimage to Mecca - a journey she had made seven or eight times at least once with each of her children.

As she lay there, beneath a poster depicting the Kaabah, I thought to myself that she must be pleased to be making a journey again, that this time it would not be she who is left behind asking me when I would be travelling again and to what destination. This in fact was a journey for which she had been preparing herself for most of her life. Perhaps that is where the gentle smile on her face stemmed from - she was going home, a request she had made a few times in the last two weeks. Only it was perhaps not her home in the Bo-Kaap overlooking Cape Town that she was referring to.

I also thought of the last hajj of the Prophet, the year in which he died --
Al youma akmaltu la kum dinakum, wa atmamtu alayka ni'ymatee, wa radheetu lakum, islama dina. Truly today for her had been perfected her religion, and upon her had been made complete her gifts and she had chosen for herself Islam as her way of life.

No [one] is an island entire of itself
Everyone is a part of the mainland, a piece of the continent,
Any [one]'s death diminishes me
For I am involved in mankind
Hence never send to know for whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee


The huge outpouring of grief visible in the silences, on each tear-stained cheek, in every choked-up voice, all the petty internecine squabbles set aside for the day as we came to mourn her passing but also to celebrate her life and pay tribute to the impact on the community that her life as Haji Zainab Marcus nee Saban had.

Surrounded by her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, there could probably be no greater gift for her than that her great-grandchildren's light voices read surah Yasin and Al-Mulk for her.

I thought of the power of ritual in the healing process - the ritual of grieving the passing of a loved one. Crying and knowing sadness is an important emotional release for it allows us to let go, to bid farewell, to gain some closure. So too do the rituals surrounding the burial - the specific readings, the words, the actions. Because we all know what they are, we know what is coming and somehow doing them in a communal way lessens the pain of having to say good-bye by oneself. One can take comfort in the shared anguish. I was particularly struck by the surprising tenderness of my older male cousins and uncles, the outpouring of grief on the wet cheeks of these usually brusque men testimony to the depth of their (often hidden) capacity for emotion.

Finally, at the cemetery, as the sun was setting over Devil's Peak and the chill wintry wind nipped at my ears, she was finally laid to rest, a veil covering the hole hiding her closest relatives making her space as comfortable for her as possible. As the Arabic recitation and prayers for her and all of those who have left this mortal plane before her drew to a close, the freshly turned earth and fresh cut flowers marking where she lay, a new chapter in her existence began as the last of us walked 40 steps away..